I could be so much happier. » pinkeye

Posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 14:49:51

In reply to Re: No good boundaries. » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 13:28:39

Hmm.. I am just realizing, how much happier I could have been.
I am really capable of being happy also.. many times I have been extremely happy and cheerful. And I like interacting with people. I love writing to people in this board.. And generally I get along well with people.. And I can work very well if I want to. And my arthritis also gets lot better when I am happy.
Then why I am just not doing it? Why is it I always need to be suffering? It is so pathetically bad to have all this capacity for happiness and fulfillment, and just let it slide everytime.
I really don't have any bitterness towards my dad or mom or husband.
And I don't have any bitterness or anger towards anyone too much.. I have liked almost all the people I have met so far, maybe except a handful.
I liked my ex T a lot, and I like my current T also.. I don't have any complaints.
Then why do I allow myself to get hurt all the time, and just be in a bad mood?
> And I think I do it, because of this basic undeserving attitude..

> Somehow if I could convince myself that I am as worthy as others, that I am a woman, (not a tom boy or a child), and that I deserve to be happy and don't have to feel guilty or take blame, that men would like me and it is ok to be smart and career oriented, I think I will be completely allright.

Thread

I don't have to pretend anything here pinkeye 5/8/05
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Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » pinkeye Dinah 5/9/05
Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » Dinah pinkeye 5/9/05
Goodnight, Pinkeye. :) Sleep well. (nm) Dinah 5/9/05
You too. Good night. Thanks (nm) » Dinah pinkeye 5/9/05
Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » Dinah pinkeye 5/9/05
P.S. (For tomorrow) I don't necessarily agree Dinah 5/9/05
Re: Taking a break for couple of days. annierose 5/9/05
Re: Taking a break for couple of days. Dinah 5/9/05
Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » annierose pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: P.S. (For tomorrow) I don't necessarily agree » Dinah pinkeye 5/10/05
No good boundaries. » pinkeye pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: No good boundaries. » pinkeye pinkeye 5/10/05
I could be so much happier. » pinkeye pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » pinkeye annierose 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » annierose pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » pinkeye Dinah 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » pinkeye Shortelise 5/10/05
Very good point (nm) » Shortelise gardenergirl 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » Dinah pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » Shortelise pinkeye 5/10/05
I am so tired but allright pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I am so tired but allright pinkeye 5/10/05
Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** Dinah 5/10/05
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Re: Darn right. Except for mine of course. » Tamar pinkeye 5/11/05

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