Posted by pinkeye on May 9, 2005, at 22:08:19
In reply to Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on May 9, 2005, at 21:58:13
Thanks a lot Dinah.
And what you have said is quite true. But I also think that it is not possible to say that to us ourselves. We need to hear it from people who are important in our lives to be able to say it to ourselves. I think that is where therapists go wrong. They focus too much on making a person grow up, that they forget that nobody can really grow up in vaccum.
For kids who get enough support and validation from parents growing up, they don't need further validation from therapists. But for other people who didn't get it, it is probably a therapists job to give that to the patient, so that the patient can learn it and can then grow up to be able to give it to themselves one day. Without that, I think it is like asking a child who has never received an "I love you" in a life, to be able to say "I love you" and I think it is incredibly hard to achieve for anyone. Kids cannot grow up to be good adults without validation and love from paretns, and when we go to therapy, I think it is very important for the therapists to give that same love and validation.
But it is perhaps not possible for the Ts to go and tell their clients that they like them wihtout really liking them. So that is why they don't do it. And just say that the clients need to be able to give that to themselves. Realistically though, people tend to reflect what they are shown.. and many of us enter into therapy because we were not shown proper love to beign with, and it would make it much easier on the client to learn to love themselves if they know that the therapists love them.
poster:pinkeye
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/495813.html