Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 6, 2004, at 12:25:17
In reply to not sure i can / should keep doing this, posted by shrinking violet on September 9, 2004, at 18:58:41
She means too much to me, and it hurts, and it's scary. And I dont know if I can handle it. When I leave her office, and go back to my lonely, dark world, it's too hard. The difference is almost palpable. And the six days in-between have been so very hard lately. I'm not sure why. I'm afraid she'll forget me, or I'll forget her. Or maybe I need reassurance and reminding that she's actually there. But I can't have that. And that's just another reminder of how weird and surreal this "thing" with her is.
>
> The ironic thing is that I don't think I can even tell her any of that. Because then she'll think my relationship with her is "hurting" me and she might terminate me, which would be too devastating.
==============I've been reading through some old posts and didn't know if I should respond or not, but I can SO relate to this. I don't even know how to express the amount of pain I feel; nor am I able to cry. I understand what you mean about not knowing what to do. And I've often thought the same as you, that if she know's she's "hurting" me (unintentionally of course) would she terminate me because "it would be in my best interest"? Even though the thought of losing her is completely devestating. ugggghh
poster:LittleGirlLost
thread:388901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399613.html