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Re: not sure i can / should keep doing this » shrinking violet

Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 14:43:06

In reply to Re: not sure i can / should keep doing this » littlegirllost, posted by shrinking violet on October 8, 2004, at 21:18:15

>When I called her to tell her, she was all concerned and suggested I go to the hospital, and to let her know if I needed anything. Last night, she sent me a sweet email in which she says she hopes I'm ok, and that she's thinking of me. I really needed to hear from her, especially since I didn't get to see her this week, so that note helped more than she probably knows. I might tell her at some point, if it comes up.
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That is SOOOO sweet!!! I would definitely tell her (and I'm usually quite shy when it comes to this!)
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> I know, it *is* confusing. Hm, my T and I don't have any set number of emails that we send. She rarely initiates an email to me; more often I email her. I try not to, but....I always end up emailing about something or other; either an appointment change or something that happened in session that I need to get off my chest. Part of me wonders if I email her just b/c I need some contact with her in-between but don't want to come out and admit it to her, or ask for more direct and regular intersession contact. I mean, most of the issues that I email about I should be able to bring up during session, but either I end up reacting after session, or I forget during session. Anyway, she's been so great about it, but I feel horrible that I must bother her so much. But then she'll email me back, or send me an email asking me questions, which means I have to reply, and wonder if she's doing it consciously or not, but then I feel guilty all over again while glad that I have an excuse to contact her again.....it's a cycle. *lol* I'm trying really hard to go at least one week without bugging her in-between. It's been a while since that happened, though. :(
>
> If I had to guess a number, I'd say I send at least one email per week; sometimes it's more if she responds and asks questions, or if I feel I need to respond to something she wrote. It isnt like I email her every day, but...still, I feel guilty about it even though it helps me stay connected to her, and it's comforting to hear from her.
>
> As for you, I think you should talk to your T about it again. Maybe ask her if you could email her in-between if you need to, and ask her to come up with an agreement; maybe no more than 2 emails between sessions, or 1 call and 1 email, or just for a temporary time until you get past this rough spot. That way, you might not feel like you'll be overstepping bounds if you both know it's temporary and have agreed to certain "rules." And your T sounds like she understands how hard this is for you right now, and she did tell you to contact her if you need to.
>
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Yes, I know what you mean!! I am the only who puts my limit to one email or call per week, she's not even that strict! Infact, last week I had to call her the day after my session just to connect. I tortured myself all day before I gave in and made the call; besides that, I really didn't have naything to say. So I called, and told her that and she said, "well, maybe you just wanted to connect, and that's okay!" She also told me not to torture myself and to call when I want. I still cant seem to do that.... I'm afraid I'll get carried away. Although this week I did call the day after our session, then emailed... just to say hi... over the weekend. She is sweet and will always respond; just brief, but at least I know she's still there.

LGL

 

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poster:LittleGirlLost thread:388901
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