Posted by shadows721 on June 13, 2004, at 20:58:40
In reply to Suicidal ideation question - *trigger potential*, posted by daisym on June 12, 2004, at 20:00:35
Daisy,
You are having some insight into the real cause of these feelings. Yes, they may be old. It's actually normal to go through these feeling when you are digging at painful memories. When going through them, we forgot the feelings of that 11 to 12 y/o. She was wanting to die from what she went through. Perhaps, to her, it was a way out. Maybe the pain was just too much to bear alone.
You are probably at a better place now than then. That's why these very unsettling feelings arise for you to feel. That's the mechanism of memory work that the hardest. Sometimes, the urges are actually urges from yesterday and not today. There is a split. The child within is still there and you are now taking care of her. She is trusting you and that's why these very painful feelings are arising from the dead so to speak. When these feelings come up, affirmations and support systems need to be in place until the wave of these feeling settle back down.
Sometimes, these feelings come up right before a memory. It is as though the child part within doesn't realize they actually lived though the terrible ordeal. It's the adults part to keep saying over and over again, "You are safe with me. I will not hurt you. I will not allow you to hurt yourself." It's hard work. That child part deep with in the subconscious does not realize it's the year 2004. It's the year it happened. The subconscious knows no time clocks. That's why it's so important to keep reminder yourself (and that young girl) it's 2004 and I lived through that back then. Do conforting things for yourself. Remember, you are a survivor. You have the power to live through these feelings by staying safe.
poster:shadows721
thread:356168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/356401.html