Posted by antigua on June 13, 2004, at 18:31:26
In reply to Suicidal ideation question - *trigger potential*, posted by daisym on June 12, 2004, at 20:00:35
My heart hurts for you Daisy. I don't know if it's better that we stay away from each other or not because we are in the same situation right now.
I don't want you to die. You have kids too, but you said something really important to me today. Sometimes it just hurts too da@@ much. More than I love my kids. I tell my T and she listens, and I tell her how serious this is right now, because I'm afraid I'm going to be overcome. She tells me that wishes aren't the actions. I know that, but what about being set into overdrive (or into total dissasociation) so that I don't even know what I'm doing? She says it's just the constant fear I've lived with my whole life. Should I believe her?
The lows that you mention were evened out for me (when it worked) w/medication. It was a lifesaver for me. I can't tolerate such swings in emotions.
Also, about not talking to your T for 24 hrs. I feel so needy right now,and I've called mine, but I realize I have to hold this together myself. As good as she is, she can't save me; nobody can save me, but ME. I can carry her w/me, but I have to live alone. We all live alone. It's good, but also so very, very hard.
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:356168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/356343.html