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Re: more stuff » Elizabeth

Posted by Lorraine on September 27, 2001, at 10:15:59

In reply to Re: more stuff » Lorraine, posted by Elizabeth on September 26, 2001, at 15:51:13

Elizabeth:

> > I hate condoms. I think it is so sad that your generation didn't have the sort of free abandon with sex that mine had.
>
> Can I ask what you hate about them?

I don't like the way the feel. Maybe they have improved the technology (how hi tech can it be tho?) since I used them (10 years ago).

>
> re Asperger's d/o:
> > I read up on it. I know someone whose son was recently diagnosed--although I don't know her well.
>
> Do you know her son?

No.


>
> > In my mind it goes like this. Is there a neurotransmitter in the human body that uses this chemical in the absence of addiction? If so, there may be a deficiency.
>
> Sure; there are neuropeptides called endorphins and enkephalins. Drugs don't really do anything new; there's a reason why we have opioid receptors -- because we have an endogenous opioid system.

All the rest of it is just value judgement and as Shelli would say puritanical value judgement at that. Definitely not helpful.


> > We are having a crises with my son Austin and anger management right now. He had a real explosive and scarey episode last night. I'm meeting with his therapist in an hour.
>
> I hope it goes well. It's bad enough that we have to deal with emotional problems ourselves; having to deal with them in a child must be very difficult (one reason I don't think I'm going to have any children).

Even with the tough times, I'm glad I had kids and particularly glad I had my son. He has taught me a lot. His therapist said that he thinks we have a bully/victim dynamic going in our household (do you want to guess who the bully is? how about the victim?) Anyway, he said we need to break this pattern and that I need to be less of a victim--which in part means being less reactive to bullying behavior. This last thing--about me being the victim--was pretty distressing to me b/c I do unfortunately see the thread throughout some of my life anyway. So it became more than a realization about the family--it just sort of bounced around inside me like a ping-pong ball setting off lots of difficult feelings. These cognitive therapy types are pretty wierd (based on an n=1). They don't really care about your "petty" wounds. They care about thought patterns that work or don't work. I like this guy for Austin, but he seems a bit military to me--like maybe they forgot to pour the feminine side in him when they set the mold. Anyway, unique experience. The family goes in today for a 2 hour session. It's possible that I would want to see this guy individually--but I guess I would want to have a touchy-feeling therapist on the side to pick up the pieces from some of the realizations.

He believes that Austin does not have a biochemical thing going on b/c his behavior only occurs in the family and not in school or with his friends. But then I know that sometimes we can just hold things together until we are in a safe place like home when things unwind. He views Austin as an alpha male who has learned to bully--which does make sense.

I have a friend who is big and tall and wide whose son started trying to intimidate her physically at around this age. She said you have to grab him by the collar, pull him up from the chair, get right in his face and scream at him letting him know who is boss. When I mentioned this to his therapist, he said yes that would work but you have to play your hands with the cards you are dealt and I am much smaller than my son, who towers over me.

Anyway, I think that I will have Austin tested meanwhile in case there is something physical and not just biological going on.

He said another thing that was interesting to me. He said that we all have two brains--a mature brain and an immature or primitive brain. Austin's mature side is very highly developed (this is true--he is remarkably insightful and bright). His immature side though is very immature--like dealing with a two year old. When Austin is in the immature or primitive mode, reasoning with him is not effective (this is certainly true). Well, perhaps it is all a way of looking at things, but an interesting way.

My Nardil is making me anxious--hyperventilate and also lowering my energy level (or not helping it). I'm taking 22.5 in the am and 15 in the afternoon (3:oo pm). I never fully recover from the pm dose drowsiness and sludge through my evening with no energy and without much mood support. For the hyperventilation, I have been taking Neurontin and increasing it b/c the hyperventilation can be quite bad. So I'm taking 200 mg or Neurontin with my am and pm dose and 600 at night b/4 bed. Yesterday I substituted 1/2 tab of valium for the Neurontin--which knocked me out further so won't be repeated. Does this sound like a pattern that will ultimately yield success to you? It is getting hard to hang in there with this trial. Is is now day 18 on Nardil. I feel pretty good in the morning only then sort of crash around 3 for the rest of the day. My memory is really terrible right now also--like losing my way on the way to the store not once but twice. Anyway, I will see my pdoc next week, but I have always had a fairly fast response to meds. Effexor, being the exception, took 3 weeks for me to feel much better.

I'd appreciate your thoughts.


Lorraine


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