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Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al.

Posted by shelliR on August 6, 2001, at 20:35:14

In reply to Re: jumping in Elizabeth, posted by Lorraine on August 6, 2001, at 12:10:22

Hi Guys,

Tomorrow will be my first day on Parnate. I think I'll take 5mg in the morning and hope for the best.
In the meantime, my pdoc gave me the okay to up my oxycontin (10mg bid to 10mg bid + 10mg prn).
And he changed my klonopin to valium.
How can you give up a doctor like this who doesn't freak out about either valium or oxycontin, just doesn't
return phone calls? I can't. And it's not like he has a rep as a crazy man or anything. Brillant but not dependable--
that's his rap sheet.
I really haven't seen any brillance, just more openness to options. And he won't give me valium for panic attacks
and klonopin for sleep. (Just wants to stick to one--"choose", he says), so he does have some limits on what he willl
My therapist said on the phone over the weekend that I was exhibiting addictive behavior; I replied that
I was exhibiting the behavior of someone horribly depressed who is trying to stay alive and *really* doesn't
want to go into the hospital *again*.
I asked my pdoc about a switch to buprenorphine instead of oxycontin because of the less addictive possibility, but
he didn't think it was worth it. (See I was trying to show my non-addictive behavior. :-) )

So I am still with my therapist (she didn't really believe he'd add more oxy as a prn), and we've agreed not to talk
about medication. (although she dutifully records what I am taking in her notes). It's sort of not the best situation, but I really wanted to work out attachment issues with her--not
just switch therapists again and move the attachment to someone else like I always do. Then after attachment, work
on intimate relationship issues. Anyway, until my meds are stabilized I won't switch, but if I could find an MSW who was also a body worker (so she would be covered by my insurance), I might consider switching
therapists at some point. It's hard; she so good for me in some areas of my life and I've already exposed
all my shame with her, so I don't want to start over. (but if I've really worked out my shame issues with her why does it seem so scary to bring them up with someone else?)

But I do feel a lack of respect for me eminating
because of the codone/contin and have felt it before regarding several things I've done that she strongly disagrees with. (and
they are not things that any of my friends disagreed with, or even my doc of ten years asked me why do I care what she thinks about .....) So I have to go around finding a lot of outside support over things she is judges me about. Actually it's hard for
me to remember at this moment that I generally really like her.

So all in all, I'm pleased that I'm starting parnate tomorrow, and I'm pleased that I have flexiblity around the oxycontin.

Hope you both (all --if there are any lurkers) are doing okay.

And I wondering, Elizabeth if you've gotten any information that is helpful to you re serum levels.
Have you felt anything different yet, since halving your dose? (i.e., not as well?)

Thanks for letting me write a book here; btw, haven't you guys ever heard of a library. Lorriane, you could get The Magic Daugher from the library, *then* if you like it, buy it.

Tomorrow: Parnate
The First Chapter
by Shelli Anon




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