Posted by susan47 on August 26, 2009, at 18:59:11
In reply to And IF YOU HAVE SHARED ANY OF THIS WITH, posted by susan47 on August 1, 2009, at 14:44:04
soft crime is making phone calls to a disembodied voice, leaving messages to the galaxy only, messages of pain and heartache and betrayal.
Using your phone line. Adding to your time, to your expenses.
And you could have stopped it all with a few simple conversations, a few exercises in eye contact, a few meaningful words.
But you couldn't do it because you didn't want to make that difference.
I remember how harshly you were judging me.
Each letter you wrote confirmed the extent of your judgment.
This was not a transference, this is true.
You judged me, but you should have been judging yourself.
You did things that made me feel awful, terrible about myself.
And none of it, absolutely none of your judgments were based in fact.
In reality.
You did not give me the opportunity to come out of my therapy relationship with you as a whole person.
I came out of that in pieces. Little, itty bitty pieces that you had made of me. A lunch you had consumed, devoured for what you could get out of it.
What nourishment did I provide you with, CW .. tell me, what did you get out of this? What you usually did? To begin with, before my confession of love, yes, certainly.
And even sometimes after that, were you to be honest with yourself.
But what I believe about you is that you cannot be honest with yourself, you can't allow this, because it cannot be true about you, it just can't. You upstanding one, you.
Coward.
Deceitful, brazen coward.
poster:susan47
thread:832961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20090424/msgs/914263.html