Posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 6, 2008, at 20:52:20
I am sorry for the urgency in my title. I have been so DOWN, just feeling the way that I am just turned 38, have little to show for it, have no 'special someone', and it really seems like I will never. My brother and sister are in their 40's and have spouses and kids. I've got nothing...nadda. I am still trying to get a better job so I can even buy my own place!
You see, this goes through my head at night....actually more often.....and I just feel that when my parents die, I really will have nothing left, and will just end my life. I don't even have any real male or female 'friends' fer cripes sake! (I have informal friends...aquaintences....but nobody seems to want to form any kind of relationship with a 'loser' like me.....who still lives at home (even if I am caring for my sick father).....who can't attract women (because he is too fat thanks to psych meds...)...etc...etc. I just see it all ending now. All of my parents friends and relatives are dying, and soon enough they will (that will break my heart enough...)..I will just be so miserable I KNOW I am going to end it all. It's just a matter of me planning exactly how to do it.
That's my way of saying F*ck you to every person who ever rejected me. Just got yet another 'rejection' message (7'th one this week) from a female on a dating website I sent a simple 'smile' to. Yet they pay Scott Baio (or however you spell his name) major money because he is 45, 'single', has like 10 dates a week and women everywhere...and he treats them like sh*t.
poster:Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe
thread:804721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/804721.html