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Re: Lock up gave me PTSD *trigger* » Shy_Girl

Posted by alexandra_k on May 18, 2005, at 23:53:57

In reply to Re: Lock up gave me PTSD *trigger* » alexandra_k, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 21:25:13

> I actually live in Canada. I think a judge is needed to back-up the decision if the patient wants to challenge a stay of more than 3 days. In my case, I was only locked up for 3 days, so there was nothing I could do.

Ok.
3 days so they could assess whether you were at risk of harming others or yourself.

> I'm sure my p-doc would never lock me up...she totally respects my decisions. The only reason why I was locked up was because no one bothered to call my p-doc about whether or not to lock me up.

I dare say...
I dare say...
That your p-doc would involountarily hospitilise you if she felt that you were verrrrrrrrry likely to act on an urge to kill yourself. It would be unethical for her not to do this.

>BTW, that is how I see it...being locked up, like in a jail.

A lot of people see jail as 'punishment' for offending.
Hospital, on the other hand isn't 'punishment' so much as 'prevention'. The aim is to prevent you from harming yourself or someone else.
IMO jail should be about prevention and not punishment as well... But thats another story...

> Yes I did. I asked nicely again and again and again for the nurse to let me see a copy of the mental health act.

Ok. Sometimes nurses really are run off their feet. Sometimes nurses are lazy and go hide from the patients in the nurses station... But sometimes it is just a matter of them being rushed.

>I also repeatedly asked to see a lawyer, but apparently it wouldn't have done a thing in my case.

Yeah.
I suppose you are free to lodge a complaint - but what you would have to argue would be that they hospitalised you despite good grounds to think that you are not a risk to others or yourself. If there was doubt about your level of risk... Well, that sounds like that was precisely why you were hospitalised.

From their perspective.
If they let you go home and you kill yourself your family could sue them. An intentional overdose is grounds to consider that you may be in danger of harming yourself.

If you don't want to be hospitalised then typically you can get around that by promising that you won't harm yourself, and by promising that you will contact someone if you do have the urge to harm yourself again. If you keep what you have promised then you shouldn't have too much trouble remaining out of hosiptal if that is what you prefer.

But... Sometimes hospital can be the best place to be... I agree that sometimes the nurses can be judgemental and so forth. Typically... Typically... The most help you will find there is from the other patients. Just like how the Babblers are helpful, the patients can be most helpful too. If you try and make the best you can of the situation then the nurses tend to find more time to talk to you as well...

> it was only when I forced myself to be extra *nice* and *patient* that the nurses started to give me some attention. I wonder if it is some sort of behaviour modification thing...punish me by ignoring me when I'm "bad" and giving me attention when I'm "good"?

Yup.
Thats the one.
You have nailed it ;-)

> Then the nurse talked some sense into me...she said that the p-docs where looking to see if I had insight and if I was impulsive and that my throwing things wasn't helping me. I really wanted to get the h*ll outta there, so I had to suck it up and comply.

Yup.
It isn't so much 'sucking up and complying'. It is more about not throwing tantrums... and being polite.. and patient...

> Anyways, that place was horrible...no freedom to do anything. No freaking locks to the bathrooms!

Some people in hospital are at risk of harming themself.
Intentionally or unintentionally.
So the set-up bears that in mind...

> I'll freaking show them...I'll f*cking hang myself...that'll show them how useful their "help" was.

And that sort of statement is the sort that is likely to keep you in there even longer... It shows that you are in danger of harming yourself as a matter of impulse.

What is most likely is that you will be found in time and then get put in seclusion.

Seclusion is no fun at all.
I can assure you of that.

> I didn't *need* their help...all I needed was a little medical help for my nonlethal overdose...that was all.

Then you need to be able to guarantee your safety and give them some insurance that there won't be a repeat scenario. Because if they let you go home from the general ward and you kill yourself two days later then their necks will be on the line for having let you go without proper psych. evaluation. And if the p-doc lets you go home and you kill yourself a couple days later then he has to justify his decision to send you home. You can help the p-doc out there by guaranteeing safety - and sticking to safety contracts. Make sense???

> And, so what if I'm suicidal...it's not like I'm homicidal...it is my own business what I want to do with *MY* life.

The point is that... You might kill yourself as a matter of impulse.
Whereas if you were prevented from killing yourself then two days or weeks or months or years down the track you might say 'jeepers, I'm glad I didn't kill myself back then'.

Most times you think it would be better if you were dead.
I understand that.
I feel like that a fair bit.
Some times you say that you don't really want to die - you just want the pain to stop.
Some times you are happy to be alive.
The times you are happy will become more frequent and longer lasting as you get better.
The times you would prefer to be dead will become less frequent and won't last so long as you get better.

The point: is to prevent you making a decision that you will later come to regret (paradox there - but you get what I mean).

It is just that sometimes you have faith that things are okay, and will get even better.

Whereas sometimes that black hole just seems to be too deep and the only way out seems to be suicide.

But it isn't.
And...
In your 'rational' moments I don't think you really want to die.
I just think that you (understandably) are just fed up with the pain etc and think that is the only way..

 

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