Posted by ceesea on December 13, 2004, at 20:52:04
In reply to Re: over everything » ceesea, posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 6:53:43
hi again alesta
i was put on lithium because i have been on so many anti-depressants without any good effects. we found one that didn't seem to have too many bad effects and then psych wanted to try "augmentation" with lithium. it did actually seem to lift my mood for a little while. normally i feel like i have a 'flu, head full of cotton wool and pressure, body heavy and achey, mind dull and unable to concentrate or think. there's nothing physically causing this, i've had every test known to man. well i still got depressed but i could function a lot better and sometimes even felt neutral - no bad feelings. that stopped, i returned to my useless state. no idea why.
anxiety.........yes i worry a lot. not about the state of the world or nukes in korea. i can't handle not knowing what i am supposed to be doing, for instance, and since i just started a new job 2 months ago there is a lot of worry around that.
actually more despair than worry. i'm not well and i don't get things done at home, haven't sent christmas cards, don't cook or clean or anything and i despair a lot. i dread things too. dread going to work the next day, dread christmas parties with work people and family and all that crap.
i was supposed to work today. i didn't go. i barely remember telling bf at 6am that i wasn't going, he must have called them. i'm losing the plot big time.