Posted by ceesea on December 13, 2004, at 0:56:59
In reply to Re: over everything » ceesea, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:21:53
hi alesta
i understand thinking problems etc - my mind is mush due to depression. thankyou for your replies.
xanax does nothing for me and i rarely take it. i can't have diazapam as i have been addicted to it in the past. i actually don't get panic attacks or "normal" anxiety symptoms. you could not diagnose me with an anxiety disorder. i think psych means some sort of anxious personality - my mother says "no shit sherlock" and that she is anxious too. we both have stomach ulcers, for example. i have IBS and tend to dissociate when i can't cope, like at the supermarket or something like that. oh and the OCD thing....apparently that is all related to anxiety but if it is it isn't conscious - my patterns and behaviours just feel "right" and any other way feels "wrong", i don't think the world will end if all the labels aren't the same way when i put my cereal boxes in the cupboard but i do like them to be like that.
i am very cynical and closed. i avoid people. i don't answer the phone but that is because mostly i don't have the energy to talk. not cos i am scared of them.
i quite like my psych, i have seen him for about 18 months and normally he is good about meds and listening to me. he also answers his pager after hrs, and helps me with dealing with the hospital. i think he is just too optimistic right now, he really thinks this lithium is going to help even though it stopped helping and made me sick. he doesn't want me in hospital unneccessarily so he won't consider that unless i am actively going to kill myself, which means all he can do is fiddle with my meds until i get better or worse.
i kinda feel like no-one can do anything unless i get better or worse. i really want to stop sliding towards the abyss but i don't know how, and either do they.
yeuch.
thanks for trying to help me
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poster:ceesea
thread:427677
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041209/msgs/428707.html