Posted by Dinah on March 8, 2004, at 17:34:19
It's not really their fault. They're having a crisis, which means I'm having a crisis.
My brother just left for training to go to Afghanistan and won't be home for well over a year unless something unusual happens.
My mother is going into the hospital for 1 1/2 - 3 weeks for her foot infection (diabetic). My father is largely wheelchair bound and will be alone and while I'm willing to help as much as I can, I'm facing a work crunch and there's only so much time I have. He can't come live here. That's all agreed on with me, my husband, and my therapist, who thinks it would have an extremely detrimental effect on my mental health.
But he is being impossible. I know he's worried, but he refuses to do anything to help himself. He won't hire a sitter (or nurse or errand runner) and he really really needs one. He's already started calling me to run errands, and I've already told him I was going to have limit my trips to his house to once a day. I can only imagine how that's going to go over.
He's already told my mother how utterly selfish she is to be deserting him (for a three week holiday stay at the hospital having parts of her foot amputated). And that she is being totally controlling by trying to arrange things for him so that he can stay at home without a sitter as he insists he is determined to do (arranging for neighbor to bring over paper in morning, etc.). I can't even imagine how she puts up with him at a time when she's afraid for her own mobility. I guess he's just worried, but he's got a vicious tongue on him. Which is why he can't come here for three weeks. :(
I wonder if I offer to pay for the sitter to come a couple of hours a day, if he would accept. I seriously doubt it. It seems to be a matter of principle for him. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:322154
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/322154.html