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Re: Just remember to take care of yourself » Karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on March 10, 2004, at 8:44:25

In reply to Re: Just remember to take care of yourself » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:23:06

I'm positive I told you this already, or posted it maybe, so forgive the repetition. But it just hit me that this is going to be bigger than I thought. My mother always comes home from these sugeries to a wheelchair. She's forgotten that, but I haven't. And there are whole areas of the house, necessary areas, that you can't get to in a wheelchair because of the newspaper and stuff stacked everywhere with only narrow paths between.

Only the areas my dad usually travels are accessible. Plus, they really need a maid. The place isn't fit for my mother's foot to come home to. But my dad won't let anyone in because of the hoarding.

Then of course, someone is going to have to run errands for them etc. until my mom's foot heals.

I'm just not the caretaking sort. Not without klonopin and lots of white bread and pasta, peanut butter and pudding. I feel guilty about it, but there it is.

It's amazing how small doses of my family have such a huge effect on me.

I know there are tons of sensible rational solutions, but faced with my parents I just can't insist on them.

Harry and I want to run away.

But I'd better go get dressed and go to work. I'm another five hours behind now.

I'm just not sure I'm going to make it through this ok, you know? And I think that's so stupid of me. They're just parents. They took care of me growing up. I keep trying and trying not to think about it too much. Because really, is it so awful?

 

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