Posted by Susan J on October 3, 2003, at 10:24:54
In reply to Please help me understand my husband, posted by JJC on October 3, 2003, at 6:55:27
Dear JJC,
I just saw these posts, and I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain. My brother's wife has kind of flipped out on him, after 9 years of being together, 5 of them married. My brother didn't have a clue anything was wrong and now K is talking about leaving him.
I'm so glad that your husband is starting to talk to you. My sis-in-law keeps saying she'll see a therapist but never makes the appointment. Of course, that can be a sign of depression too, but she is so very very angry right now.
I *do* think that you need to protect yourself in case your husband doesn't recover quickly enough. Whoever said it's not your husband doing this to you, it's the depression doing it to him, is absolutely right! But it can cripple him temporarily and you need to prepare for that. Hopefully it will never happen, like I tell my brother.
I advised him to see an attorney to figure out his options and protect his assets (a son). But don't think of it as divorce preparations, think of it as financial planning. So, please, take a look at your business and stuff and see what your options are. Doesn't mean you have to *do* anything, just plan for every contingency. You do need to take care of yourself, too. And I think it's great that you will see a therapist too. I want my brother to do that, because it helps you cope with this devastating turn of events, it will help you see what your husband is going through more clearly, and the therapist can give you advice on how to relate to your husband in a way that he won't see as threatening.
Depression is tough, but humans are tougher. I promise. Good luck with everything, and I'm thinking of you.
poster:Susan J
thread:264954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265194.html