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Re: Please help me understand my husband

Posted by kara lynne on October 2, 2003, at 18:43:27

In reply to Please help me understand my husband, posted by JJC on October 2, 2003, at 14:09:27

Hi JJL,
Sorry to hear that you are going through such a terribly difficult time right now. How awful that must be to be living under the same roof with someone who is supposed to love you, and he won't even talk to you.

While I agree with the idea of being gentle with him if he is experiencing depression, I don't think it is right that you should have to be the dumping ground for his anger. If he is doing things like telling you you are not capable, and not drinking coffee because you made it, he's acting out in destructive ways that will harm both of you. I'm glad you're seeing a counselor who will be able to advise you and give you some direction. If your husband refuses to do anything to make things better for himself or the relationship it is not fair for you to have to live with his punishing silence.

You say he will not tell you why he is angry, so I'm assuming you asked him directly? It does sound like something triggered this episode; it would be nice if he would give you something to work with.

I have to quit writing mid-post but I just wanted to get this out for now, and let you know you're in my thoughts,

Kara


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poster:kara lynne thread:264954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265027.html