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Re: I wonder....

Posted by noa on May 1, 2003, at 17:16:28

In reply to Re: I wonder.... noa, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2003, at 17:44:41

Dinah,

I am certainly not one for assuming there was abuse or trauma just based on someone's current symptoms. As we all know here, there are often multiple possible causes for various symptoms, and often biological bases are overlooked in favor of attempts to attribute symptoms to psychological experiences.

I have also seen a friend decide she was abused based not on any memories but on current problems that friends of hers in abuse recovery programs told her were signs of having been abused. Maybe, maybe not. But I know that she had enough about her past to have caused her unhappiness and particular problems anyway, along with whatever biological pre-dispositions she had, and that it didn't seem necessarily the case that she was also sexually abused. Like I said, maybe yes, maybe no, but I feel it can be dangerous to assume based on current symptoms. I saw how that danger played out with this friend (this was back in the 80's when this kind of thing was "popular" because the lid was finally being taken off the secrecy of abuse).

But I guess, like another poster (sorry, I can't remember who it was right now), there was something about your post that spooked me.

Maybe it was the details that you remember about your outfit, from such an early age. Or the distinct memory you have of the blood stain. Or the size of the blood stain you describe. Somehow it is hard for me to imagine a blood stain that size just from the abrasions of shorts too tight.

Did your mom or aunt check you out physically?

I hate writing all of this because it may be totally off and it seems too intrusive and perhaps dangerously provocative.

I guess the other thought is that the gyn exam doesn't totally exclude the possibility because of several issues--partial tearing of the hymen, and also that sexual abuse with penetration doesn't always involve vaginal pentration.

I'm sorry. This is way too graphic and intrusive, I'm sure.

Anyway, it probably signifies nothing about you and your memory and that day that *I* am a little spooked by the story, but that is it, fwiw.

Like I said, there are a lot of unknowns and I am not one for assuming abuse or for forcing memories, for sure.


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