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Re: Women/Womin and My Problems..boohooo!! everyone! » Tabßitha

Posted by jay on October 27, 2002, at 0:04:10

In reply to Re: Women/Womin and My Problems..boohooo!! everyone!, posted by Tabßitha on October 26, 2002, at 15:49:27

Well... I honestly don't think I misinterpreted anything. I am not trying to brag or sound cocky, but I am a social worker, and have pretty fine-tuned social skills. It doesn't make me a 'mind reader', but it gives me (usually) fairly good judgement as how to go about *any* relationship. One interesting, and sad thing I guess, is that many folks I deal with who have mental health problems, often (not always) have issues pertaining to a relationship. I do feel a bit proud, I guess that is the word, that I was able to assist many through some of these very deep and dark times, especially ones which involve either the death of a romantic partner or child, and the ones who been either abused or cheated on in a relationship. (BTW...we are working on some new definitions of abuse...and 'cheating' is finding it's way into this definition.)

OK..about my situation. I don't think there was anything wrong in what I read from her. I have a number of female 'friends'...and in fact any 'date' starts off as a friendship for me. My problem was the fact she emphasized 'friends' about 10 times in a few minute period. I just *assumed* that is what it would be....as most people I know do. It was insulting, and she mind as well told me she thought I was an ugly geek who she would *never* consider going out with. If she had use some more 'tactful' language...then fine.

The other thing is, I work in med sized office building. I am a social worker with our provincial government. She works in the restaurant on our building's main floor. I NEVER put myself above her, even if I make 5 times as much money as she does, and she is treating me like this? She knows where I work, and what I do, helping the poor and homeless. Her last boyfriend was this idiot who works in the same restaurant, and I have talked to him before...and man I shake my head!

Anyhow...that is my side of the story. I disagree that there is no big boundary between 'romantic' and 'friendship' interest. I think those 'traps' you listed are called games, and that is fine when you are 18, but as a grown adult, I think they are rather silly. One CAN easily lead to the other, and often over time, they do. If people would come down to earth and start losing their fantasies about going out with Hollywood-look-a-like's, many of us would be better off. That's my rant...I'm stickin' to it. :-)

Thanks..
JayWell... I honestly don't think I misinterpreted anything. I am not trying to brag or sound cocky, but I am a social worker, and have pretty fine-tuned social skills. It doesn't make me a 'mind reader', but it gives me (usually) fairly good judgement as how to go about *any* relationship. One interesting, and sad thing I guess, is that many folks I deal with who have mental health problems, often (not always) have issues pertaining to a relationship. I do feel a bit proud, I guess that is the word, that I was able to assist many through some of these very deep and dark times, especially ones which involve either the death of a romantic partner or child, and the ones who been either abused or cheated on in a relationship. (BTW...we are working on some new definitions of abuse...and 'cheating' is finding it's way into this definition.)

OK..about my situation. I don't think there was anything wrong in what I read from her. I have a number of female 'friends'...and in fact any 'date' starts off as a friendship for me. My problem was the fact she emphasized 'friends' about 10 times in a few minute period. I just *assumed* that is what it would be....as most people I know do. It was insulting, and she mind as well told me she thought I was an ugly geek who she would *never* consider going out with. If she had use some more 'tactful' language...then fine.

The other thing is, I work in med sized office building. I am a social worker with our provincial government. She works in the restaurant on our building's main floor. I NEVER put myself above her, even if I make 5 times as much money as she does, and she is treating me like this? She knows where I work, and what I do, helping the poor and homeless. Her last boyfriend was this idiot who works in the same restaurant, and I have talked to him before...and man I shake my head!

Anyhow...that is my side of the story. I disagree that there is no big boundary between 'romantic' and 'friendship' interest. I think those 'traps' you listed are called games, and that is fine when you are 18, but as a grown adult, I think they are rather silly. One CAN easily lead to the other, and often over time, they do. If people would come down to earth and start losing their fantasies about going out with Hollywood-look-a-like's, many of us would be better off. That's my rant...I'm stickin' to it. :-)

Thanks..
Jay


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