Posted by Tabßitha on October 26, 2002, at 20:49:40
In reply to You and Tabitha are probably right.... » jay, posted by SandraDee on October 26, 2002, at 20:02:03
SandraDee, you've got the perfect friend zone situation going. He probably won't make a serious move as long as you're married, and you get to enjoy the friendship. If he makes a move and you reject him, he'll just respect you more. Friend zone is a losing situation for a single girl. Here's my sad story.
I had a male friend for about 3 years. I knew he was interested, and I wasn't, but he was respecting my limits. He had this same type of pseudo-friend relationship with several other women. Then last year, it almost seemed like we were clicking. For a second he looked almost attractive. My therapist told me that sometimes, when a relationship deepens, an attraction can develop where it did not exist previously. Can it be? I wondered. Could my friend become a boyfriend? Although this had never worked for me before, I decided to try to explore the possibility of romance. Didn't work at all-- we did not in fact click, my little flicker of attraction died almost instantly, and simultaneously, he latched onto me for dear life, making himself even less attractive.
After a few weeks, I tried to gently disengage, but he wasn't hearing me at all, ... so I uttered the fatal words "I'm just not attracted to you", along with lots of reassurances of how much I valued his friendship and wanted to go back to the way things had been. Never heard from him again. I lost my long-term "friend" instantly, which was kind of a blow.
Jay, let this be a cautionary tale. Be glad this woman was straight with you early on, and be glad you took the hint and moved on. Pseudo-Friend zone is bad, from either side.
poster:Tabßitha
thread:31674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021022/msgs/31696.html