Posted by paxvox on September 29, 2001, at 20:18:41
In reply to Re: Getting it all out » Marie1, posted by Zo on September 29, 2001, at 19:09:50
I don't think I'm any type of prototypical male,more than likely atypical. I was a momma's boy, and learned very young and tender to appreciate the warm times, the happy times. I was always one to listen much longer than I would speak. I became many girls' best buddy (some I really wish I had the courage to ask out). However, I learned a great deal about emotions and how to emote. When I went away to college, I again, became all the girls' best buddy. This time, however, I found one that I loved very deeply. I tried as hard as I could to make her see me as more than just a friend. Though we became intimate briefly, I was more of a convienient surrogate than her lover. I graduated college, and went to grad school where she was coincidently doing a one-year fellowship for her degree. Oh, how I thought the gods were smiling on me! Surely I would be able to win her love. But it was not to be. I was her friend, which was just enough for her. How much of me would I have cleaved away to have won her over? Would it have been worth it? Would I have become who I am today? Questions never to be answered. Am I better or worse for having had "those few fleeting moments of bliss, however ephemeral"? I learned how to lose a love. I learned that the sun will rise again tomorrow, seasons will come and go. Would I do it over again knowing the same outcome? Yes. Flat emotion is not life. Flat life is existing not living. To zestfully greet each new dawn as a fresh chance, full of hope, full of possibility,full of uncertainty, but FULL none the less. That is living, and that is what I choose to do.
PAX
In the mood
poster:paxvox
thread:11796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11922.html