Posted by Kristi on September 30, 2001, at 23:20:14
In reply to Re: Getting it all out » Kristi, posted by paxvox on September 30, 2001, at 18:42:28
Hi!!!!First off.. I have definately experienced those "just couldn't wait to go back to sleep days". Still have em' unfortunately. Work has been my life line... my goal is "I will not be homeless, I will not be homeless"... so I must work... and I must put on a facade of happiness (how social I am = how much money goes in my pocket.) But on my days off... forget about it. Today for example, I woke up... watched tv, cried.. listened to some self hypnotic tapes to fall back to sleep for another hour, wake up.. and do it over and over again. So, that feeling is still there. But with the family coming, I have to "fake" it.. as not to worry anyone, so I feel normal for a little while.
I'm sorry for those days you yourself have. It's the worst pain in the world, and I am no stranger to both physical and mental.
I have to agree with you... you are complex...and one who's posts I'll read even if it has nothing to do with me, just to hear your train of thought.
Thankx for your offer to be a sounding board. Right back at ya, altho I admit I get lazy... say "I want to write to this one" but get off the computer with every intention of getting back on at a later time and doing just that, but it doesn't seem to happen that way. You see, I recently quit smoking, and the computer is a pretty big trigger point for me.
So..... "what is up with me?" :-) I am a 33 year old cocktail waitress in Las Vegas who's had some pretty intense medical problems in the past few years, and some pretty intense emotional as well, and some pretty intense exprerience with AD's which they all say I need. They do me know good. I'm obviously single right now, and just waiting for life to get better. That part probably describes us all.
So..... reciprocate.... whats up with you?
P.s. I agree... I very much like the mouse that creeps on the board.
Thanks for the intrest,
Krisi> Kristi,
>
> Nail on the head there! You said your family coming was "something to look forward to". That means you do have something to enjoy in your life. When all one has to "look forward to" is getting out of bed then waiting until it's time to go back to bed, with some stuff thrown in between the two, life can be terrifying. I can't tell you how many of the "bad" days that I have had when at least the bed, and hopefully sleep, were a haven, a respite. Out of curiosity, how old are you? This may seem a moot question, but it would help me to put you in perspective, so to speak. I don't claim to have all the answers, but somtimes I can be of assistance. I know you are a complex person by reading your posts. That intrigues me, as I like to find other complex people ( I consider myself VERY complex...I hope that doesn't sound boastful) to interact with. If nothing else, I am willing to be a sounding board for your entertainment, as it were. The way I see it, this board is a melange of different people, all with one singular goal...."what is up with me"? I have found great support from some (like the mouse-woman) from whom I received what I felt to be genuine concern and interest. When you boil it all down, that is the essence of humanity. Anywho....keep us "posted" :)
>
> PAX
> on the couch
poster:Kristi
thread:11796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11964.html