Posted by paxvox on September 27, 2001, at 12:47:21
In reply to Getting it all out, posted by Kristi on September 27, 2001, at 2:39:15
Oh, this can be a tough answer, but I'll take a swing. First, I guess, be happy you DID have those years of loving bliss, some never get a day. That being said, let's look at some solutions. You could try to find your closure through several counsellor-assisted processes, namely EMDR and hypnotherapy. The therapist would deal with your loss (because that's really what it was) as a tragic event in your life that needs to be healed. I know this may sound hokey, but it has worked for a lot of people, especially those with PTSD. Are you involved with someone now? I have had those "true loves" at least twice, one unrequited. I still have dreams about one girl I haven't seen in 25 years (how's that for holding on!). Do you think there are "soulmates"? I don't know the answer to that question. I know there were times that I was so deeply in love that my heart flitterpated whenever I saw her. Oh, those were beautiful days. Would I have done without them to avoid the loss? No. Every emotion, event, day of our life is another layer of the fabric that makes us the people we are. To put it philisophically, how can you really appreciate great joy w/o having had great sorrow? I would say, cherish those memories. Do not blame yourself for the loss. You were not the problem. However, at the same time, you need to move forward, everpresent with the knowledge of the past. We are what we are.
PAX in space
poster:paxvox
thread:11796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11816.html