Posted by galtin on September 30, 2001, at 16:00:02
In reply to Getting it all out, posted by Kristi on September 27, 2001, at 2:39:15
> Ugh... hi....
> There is something, something on my mind... constantly, obsessively, that I've never told anyone about cuz I always have to hold on to that "strong, tough" appearance.
> I was with this guy... for 5 years. We had one of those story book, movie romances, that just didn't seem real. It sounds like such a cliche... but it is so true. I never, ever felt so souly connected(for those who believe in that) to anyone in my life. This was the kind of love, where 5 years later.... as an example, he would come home from work... come bashing thru the front door and jump on me and hug me and tell me how much he missed me. Puppy love from beginning to end. Never fought... always laughed.... always brightened up when we saw each other. Exactly 1 year and 4 months ago he just picked up and left. with a "dear Kristi" letter. He had a dream of being in a band.... he felt he had it.... ya know, half the men in this world's dream. He was leaving for Iowa.. to meet up with some friends to be in a band. "l'll miss you." That was it. Haven't heard from him since.
>
> I think about him every single day of my life. At least every hour. Wondering what he's doing, what he's thinking, where he is... even if he's alive. Most importantly... WHY DID HE LEAVE???? We had all these wonderful dreams together. A fantastic future planned.
>
> I have dated and "loved" since... but there will never be anyone like him. I just ache to hear his voice... and to think that was all "fake" on his part... all we shared... just crushes me. Crushes human faith. What could cause someone to do that? I don't know,... I'm a woman.... and I chalk it up to that we need closure thing. I have to accept I'll never get it. Any guy's out there have any ideas? I know i'll just never know. That's the hardest part.
>
> I would give anything just to hear his voice. Isn't there a statute of limitations for getting over someone?????? Sorry to vent.... but what better place for it. Thanks to all to read.
>
> Sar.... I really want a cig right now.
>
> KristiMore a question than anything else. I have wondered before whether a difference between females and males is that women fall in love with the person whereas men are captivated by the experience. So, the guys can take it (the experience) with them.
Something similar happened to me--we were six days from our scheduled wedding when the other person fled. I didn't start getting over it until I talked about it with other people. Something about the talking helped me to integrate what had happened, instead of it continuing to exist as an event outside me. It went from feeling traumatic to feeling sad and it took quite awhile. No closure either and I still wish there could be. Maybe it will happen some day.
I feel the hurt and confusion in your post. I don't know what you should do or even if you should do anything. But if you haven't talked to people about it, that might help relieve the obsession. I detest talking about my emotions but when I do, I am amazed how healing it is.
galtin
poster:galtin
thread:11796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11953.html