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Re: Am I just too depressed to committ to anyone?

Posted by Anna Laura on June 15, 2001, at 13:05:51

In reply to Am I just too depressed to committ to anyone?, posted by Roo on June 15, 2001, at 11:38:51

> I've been seeing my boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years.
> The first year, I was ecstatic. I thought I'd finally
> found the one. I was very happy, and couldn't believe
> my good fortune. He's a wonderful, handsome, caring man.
> Shortly after we got engaged, I started
> have some anxiety and doubts. I frequently discussed
> them with him honestly, but they never seemed to abate,
> but only to intensify. I struggled with whether I was
> just scared, or whether he just wasn't the right guy
> for me after all. My doubts became more and more intense
> and I felt as if a hand reached inside the faucet of my
> heart and just turned it off. I broke up with him rather
> abruptly. We stayed broke up for 4 months, and I continued
> to have the anxiety and sorrow. I started to wonder if he
> wasn't really the cause of the anxiety, that maybe it was
> something inside of me, some sort of deep rooted fear of
> intimacy. I asked him if he would be willing to go into
> counseling with me, and he agreed. We ended up getting
> back together and are still in counseling. The counseling
> helped a lot, and the anxiety subsided some (though not
> completely), and we decided to move in together. We've
> been living together only a month. During that time my
> long time cat buddy died of cancer. I've been depressed and
> anxious. At first I thought it was my cat and the stress
> of moving and the newness of living togehter. I still think
> it may be that. But also, the feeling of anxiety and
> doubt about the relationship still plagues me. It's almost
> all I can think about. I don't know if it's just the stress
> of the transition. Good common sense tells me to at least
> give living together a good chance, 6 months or so. But it's
> so hard to live with the anxiety. (But then it didn't go
> away the last time I left either). Argh. I'm just thinking
> am I just too scared to committ to ANYONE, does my depression
> leave me too self absorbed and tired to truly love anyone, or
> to be able to be what it take to be in an intimate relationship?
> Or is this just the wrong person? I guess only time will tell,
> and no one can really know but me, but if any feedback or
> similar experiences come to mind, I'd really appreciate it.

May i know which kind of doubts did you have on this guy? I'm asking you that in order to answer you properly, 'cause i don't have enough information.
Hope i didn't bother for asking a private question .

Anna Laura


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poster:Anna Laura thread:6456
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6459.html