Posted by Jane D on May 29, 2001, at 11:02:22
In reply to Re: Friendships and other problems Mair » mair, posted by shelliR on May 28, 2001, at 13:27:47
> I do understand your dilemma. I think you are saying that for your friendships to have meaning that friends must understand about your depression, because it is such a large part of your life.
For me its the secondary effects of depression that are so major that I am tempted to explain. My job (lousy) my social life (nonexistant) my knowledge of popular culture (sketchy) have all been influenced drastically. At my worst none of this matters to me. It's later that I feel that there is this huge disparity between who I am and who I appear to be. On a practical level, I want my friends to know that I DO want to be tipped off about new job opportunities now even though I did nothing the last 5 times they did that. I DO want to be introduced to that nice guy even though they've never, ever seen me with anyone. And on and on. It feels like explaining the depression would do this but I'm not sure that's true.
> I don't really know how to talk about depression, and I think you're right that people don't really want to hear too much about it, anyway.
> I think for me the operative word is "mention" in dealing with depression. I don't want to be living a lie, but for me somehow "mentioning" depression, rather than engaging in discussions about my depression seems the most comfortable place for me.
Yes. I find I deliberately understate the experience or make a joke out of it. In my experience its really understanding depression that make people uncomfortable. Not just the word. Maybe because they can't help but feel like they should.
Jane
poster:Jane D
thread:6181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6222.html