Posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 3, 2001, at 2:00:29
In reply to Re: Friendships and other problems Mair » shelliR, posted by mair on May 28, 2001, at 7:19:26
> > > Mair, (Can I still think of you as K?)
> >
> Of course. I changed it because it started feeling not anonymous. I also had in mind what I think was your observation many months ago, that it was easier to think of people in terms of a name that sounded like a name, and not initials.
>
> > First of all, did your post get lost in the redirect? I can't find it. Anyway, I was basically able to read it again from someone's rely.
> >
> > I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with redirected posts. When I first saw Jane's redirected post, I went to the URL so I could read the previous posts. I responded there (on PB), and my post was redirected also.
>
> > > Don't assume these friendships are really lost. I think when you are ready, friendships can reestablish themselves easier than one might anticipate.
>
> > This is a nice thought. My pessimism is driven by the fact that twice in the last 2 years or so I've written long letters to people who were once very good friends, but with whom I had lost contact for quite awhile. (I have great intentions every year of sending out Xmas cards to at least keep in touch on that surface level, but i can never seem to get my act together enough to do that). In these letters, I explained a little about my struggles with depression. Neither person ever responded to my letter. I have no idea whether I said something in the letter to offend them, whether they just didn't want to hear about the "depressed me", whether for whatever reason they had no interest in rekindling that relationship, or whether they were just pissed. (one of these persons was someone who had written me a long letter a few years before that. I was trying to explain why I hadn't responded) I've been very unrevealing about what I've been through. Very few people know. I have this huge fear that I'll put people off by talking about it. On the other hand, it's been such a huge piece of my recent life, that I think it's an impediment to lots of friendships for me not to talk about it. It's the wall that separates me from other people. I've never figured out how to strike that balance between discussing it and not talking about it too much.
>
> MairDear Mair,
I hear you loud and clear. The balance thing
about how much one talks about their illness
is very tricky for me, especially with people
who have never experienced clinical
depression. It is very hard for a lot of
people to understand and empathize with
someone who has a depressive illness. Then again, it is
sometimes very hard for me to understand
and click with someone who has never been
clinically depressed. For me, in an odd
sort of way, my illness has given great
depth to my personality. Yet I cannot take
away from the fact that your depression has
caused you great pain.
Hang in there; I sense you to be a very
loving person; it takes great courage and
tenacity to try to rekindle friendships.
Glenn
poster:Glenn Fagelson
thread:6181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6276.html