Posted by Solstice on November 11, 2010, at 22:55:51
In reply to Re: Therapy and termination, posted by Annabelle Smith on November 11, 2010, at 21:45:15
> Thank you so much, Solstice for your response.
My pleasure :-)
> It just hurt me so much to feel blamed and "pegged" down again.god knows how much suffering that kinda thing caused me. I'm so glad you had the good sense to extract yourself.
> The most painful thing about the last therapeutic relationship was that a gaping rift had opened between us that he didn't know about but that was all I could see.Yep yep yep. Only my toxic therapist knew about it, but it was my fault. He was absolutely certain that he played no role in the series of ruptures. Because I was so invested in that therapeutic relationship by that point and had just recently reached a scary place of immense vulnerability, when that relationship collapsed, the fragile internal scaffolding that I was trying to rebuild myself on collapsed as well. I've never been in so much pain in my life.
> I need to talk to my therapist about dependence and attachment. My fear in doing so is that he will withdraw-- not physically, as I can't imagine he would actually tell me to leave and not come back, but in what is for me the worst way, emotionally. I am afraid that he will become emotionally detached and unavailable-- that I will have to go into the session and search for him and maybe not even find him; that the gaping chasm will re-emerge between us.Or.. he could tell you that he will be your 'base'.. where you can safely attach while you figure things out. I remember my HT talk about wanting to see me 'tethered.' I'm looking forward to you talking about it with him and sharing his response with us.
> But I think it is worth the risk to be open and honest. I stand paralyzed at a crossroads; if I never move then things are never going to change.It's definitely worth the risk.. and you are right.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:969714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969888.html