Posted by Solstice on November 12, 2010, at 19:55:02
In reply to Re: Dependence versus attachment » Solstice, posted by emmanuel98 on November 12, 2010, at 19:42:57
> For the first year or so of therapy, I literally thought about my T all the time, all the time. He was always in my mind. When I was working (I worked alone a lot, at home, writing) I imagined him in the room next to me. When I drove, I imagined him in the passenger seat. I imagined him approving of me. If I put on a shirt, I would imagine him saying, that's good, a good choice. If I listened to a piece of music, I would imagine him listening to and being proud of me for picking that piece out. I dreamed about him every night, usually bad dreams about him getting angry or hurting me. It was so intense, I sometimes wonder how I survived it.
Sounds like between sessions, your therapist and the therapy itself was going with you. From what I understand, that's often part of the healing process. I wonder if in the bad dreams, your underlying fears of the therapeutic relationship repeating childhood neglect, abuse, rejection were playing themselves out. What do you think?