Posted by 10derheart on July 5, 2007, at 1:03:34
In reply to Re: I hate being angry with my T :-( » 10derHeart, posted by Voce on July 2, 2007, at 19:22:50
It's wonderful to see you here, too. Sorry I never got around to replying when you popped in. Too scattered, I guess. I smiled when you described your married life as you sounded so peaceful and happy!
Yeah, I will be glad to dissect why it bothers me so much. I am extremely direct with him about things he does and says in the room. I'd wager maybe 1/3 of our therapy time is spent on issues about 'our' relationship, which works, although I complain about me bringing those up too often. But, my T. is of the mind that, "The therapist *is* the therapy," and I don't think I could work with anyone who didn't understand how very true that is...
The phone...it's hard to explain. He doesn't do this often. But each of the few times has been terribly upsetting, with this being the worst. He really is wonderful and helps me so much, and is solid as a rock. He gives me his full attention, is always on time, never cancels, gives me about 65 minutes, will add an extra session nearly any time I want, and allows limited emails. Not so bad, eh?
But the phone.....this time, it was too much, too abrupt, too casual, too much like he expected me to be okay with ending the session before I was fully outside the door and so forth. I think I can make him see that easily. But then they'll be more to it, and there is, and that's scary to say out loud. I know you understand this stuff, the clashing of the 'real' life (I feel real in that sacred space, but I'm not real enough to have him WHEN I need him) with the therapy space....yuk. Always hard to talk about that wanting and needing to be more important to them than is possible.
Better go to bed now so I have enough energy to deal with this session. Hope you pop in again...miss you.