Posted by Honore on July 6, 2007, at 9:43:25
In reply to But it still floors me, posted by 10derheart on July 5, 2007, at 13:10:24
I've been thinking about what you said-- about the sacred space--and I think you're so right.
I find it dismaying, how many Ts think it's okay to take phone calls, or even to check the phone. No matter how great they are otherwise, this breaks through the space in a way that can have a lot of resonances, even if it's a subtle as glancing over, not to mention picking up.
Not just when it's other Ps; even, or esp. --but most importantly when it's family members. I can't understand how they can not understand that talking with a son or daughter or wife or husband disrupts the space more deeply-- because it reminds us that this other world of significant others is so immediate. It feels like a huge threat, which would overwhelm our rightful space. I think it's a terrible mistake-- in judgment-- or the depth of imagination of this space. Maybe they forget. Maybe they take it for granted. But you never can.
In the recent time with your T, 10der, it was particularly disruptive=terribly so-- because the ending is one of the most emotionally freighted times of the appointment. It's particularly hurtful and disruptive, when that moment is somehow cut off, and taken away by a phone call with a son. That would upset me a lot-- I don't even want to think how much.
Your reaction seemed really right to me-- and I'm glad you were able to work it out, and repair it. You're right, I'm pretty sure, that all Cs and Ps experience the same things-- but may be less aware of what or why, and less able to speak on their own behalf.
We all need to do that-- It can be hard to do it in a constructive way-- and to hold together despite the disruptions after the appointment-- I have to admire your ability to do that, despite being hurt and angry.