Posted by Honore on March 20, 2007, at 5:17:35
In reply to a newbie in love, posted by gazo on March 19, 2007, at 16:26:10
You could discuss the feelings you have for your current T with a new T without going into the exact type of feelings.
A lot of what you're experiencing could be romantic love, or it could be a desire and need for a dependable and caring other or object, or a substitute parents or various other feelings. You don't have to specify at first, until you trust your new T enough.
Even talking in a general way about your sense of loss, and your dependence, and then desire to get away from your damaging BF relationship, might lead to working through the forced separation. Plus it could possibly help you not to go back to a bad relationship in the aftermath of the disruption.
It may be that you don't quite understand the nature of the connection to your T. Maybe it's romantic, but maybe, over time, you'd find that the romantic element would be superceded by a sense of companionship or confidence.
Plus if the erotic element in a relationship with a T is too intense, it maynot be terribly helpful in the long run. Each therapy relationship is different, but the extremely erotic ones may often end without really being transformative. A certain amount of erotic feeling (transference or "real--whichever you prefer) might be fine, but when it moves to obsession and degrees of fixation such as that, it may be better to have some way of withdrawing and finding a less fraught of potentially destructive type of connection.
I hope that you'll be able to ride out the loss and find someone else who can provide comfort and understanding without an uncomfortable intensity.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:742197
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742394.html