Posted by gazo on March 21, 2007, at 11:09:33
In reply to Re: a newbie in love))canadagirl » gazo, posted by canadagirl on March 21, 2007, at 5:14:52
omg... i almost started to cry reading what you said. i'm not sure why but it touched a nerve. i think it's what you said about using the last appt and that i'd get a good response... I am pretty sure i would. He just has a lot of empathy and he is very sweet. i think that is it... thinking about how nice he would be if i did talk to him about it.
I have to ask him why he didn't tell me about transference once he knew i was attached to him. He asked me about seeing another T at one point, before he was sure of leaving, and I said no because I liked him... I remember it exactly, his eyebrows went up slightly and he said"...now by that do you mean you LIKE me?" I was mortified so I said no, that I was comfortable with him. That part was half true. I am not good at connecting with people. But had he explained to me why he asked it that way, that sometimes people developed overattachments and it was normal... well, that would have been a different ball game.
i mean, why not tell me? It's bothering me and I am a little bit hurt and angry about it... but i cannot show him anger because that is part of my issue in the first place!
i *have* to get that contract done and filed.
> Re getting fired, I really do understand as I was completely distracted too. I mean completely. What I tried to do, was only think about the situtation during certain times of the day. If I was at work, I would have to compartmentalize it and deal with it later. Didn't always work but it did sometimes, enough that I could get through it.
> Also, you say you haven't left #1 yet, a suggestion - you might want to do everything you can to get those feelings out as much as possible without starting a new case or whatever since he is leaving. You might want to think of a strategy of what to say so that you can be honest, and reveal, yet contain, if you know what I mean. But if you still have some time left, you can at least use up some of those emotions in the session, with him, although it will be very hard. I think you will get a helpful response, from what you have written about him. I understand how hard it is, believe me. It's an awful time to go through.
poster:gazo
thread:742197
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742788.html