Posted by wishingstar on January 2, 2007, at 18:05:23
In reply to Re: falling apart » wishingstar, posted by antigua on January 2, 2007, at 16:58:44
Yes, it's definitely easy to run when things get hard. I know that pattern well too. Although I dont think that is what's happening now. I think I'm just stuck, and I dont know how to help me and she cant help me. I'm just stuck.
The thing is, I know I'm not being brave. If I was trying hard and having hard sessions and working I'd be proud of myself, even if it wasnt perfect. But I'm not doing anything at all. I'm going, telling stories, pretending things are better than they are (even though it's not on purpose), and going home. I really dont think I should be proud of myself for any of this. I know I'm smart, I've done therapy for a long time, and this is just bullsh*t on my part. It has got to stop. I feel like I'm wasting everyones time. It is very hard though, I'll give you that!
I'm sorry if this isnt particularly coherent tonight. I'm just a mess.. although externally, you'd never know it. As usual.
Thank you for your support. It means a whole lot to me.
poster:wishingstar
thread:718579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/718617.html