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Re: please explain me and this

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 26, 2006, at 8:41:53

In reply to Re: please explain me and this **trigs ED, SI.. » ElaineM, posted by canadagirl on October 26, 2006, at 5:39:19

Oh Elaine,
Well, one of the reasons why you're not able to connect with your T the way that other people on the board seem to is because we are all different. The really good sessions with the right things being said- well, those are kind of rare, and special. Can't expect that to happen every week, that's why when they DO happen it's so amazing.

The other reason why you feel no connection to him is because he doesn't feel SAFE to you. You write about your sessions as if it's a continuing trauma that you must somehow endure. Is it any wonder that your body shows up to the sessions, but you have very carefully built a wall up around the stuff you know that he will be able to hurt you with?

Therapy is not an ongoing test to see if you're strong enough to endure more trauma and abuse.

You can tell yourself that he does incredibly kind things, but you know that your heart doesn't "buy it". That's why your heart won't allow you to feel connected with him.

The thinking "rational" part of you makes a decision to go to your sessions. The "feeling" part of you ties itself in a big inpenetrable knot and barely makes it through week after week. Is it any wonder that when you get home, the knot starts to loosen and unravel and you are then able to emotionally react to the awful situation that your "therapy" has become?

Maybe it's time to listen to that part- when it says "I'm hurting" it's BEGGING your thinking decision-making part to pick up the phone and make the calls. You have to take care of your "feeling" parts, because they only have so many ways that they can protect themselves, and it sounds like they've reached some point that's unbearable for much longer.

The nice thing about doing what your feelings are begging you to do is that afterwards you can "FEEL" relief. This is so much more satisfying than doing what our "logical rational thinking" parts ask us to do. Those parts are kind of slippery anyways. They can rationalize most anything and spin most any horror into being some other thing altogether.

you take good care. I'll be thinking of you. (pick up the phone? please?)

your friend,




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