Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

I need some help

Posted by Amandafran on October 25, 2006, at 18:23:54

I need some help. I just got diagnosed by my therapist as having BPD (Borderline)..TODAY..and I am really upset about it. I have been in therapy for 2 or so years with him and I have always felt like this is what I have but no one ever has believed it until now..and he told me he has been watching me for a while now and has been thinking it but hasnt said anything. I am so scared because I have had this for years and it explains a lot about myself and my relationships wtih others...I have never been able to hold a relationship/Friendship with anyone.. I feel like no one deserves to have to put up with me and that I need to "protect" the world from myself. I was striving to be a counselor and have been going to school for a degree in social work but I am starting to rethink it because I am so unstable. I was told that BPD is chronic and that even with meds you are not stable...I am on prozac and lamictal right now and yes they help with my depression but other than that...I told him it was like I was just taking air...they arent helping my BPD at all.

I feel like my life is a mistake and that I am wasting space...that i am floating in air waiting for something to happen...I get so jealous of everyone around me and how that they are "normal". I was reading the book I hate you dont leave me..about BPD and it said that borderlines dont have the ability to experience two states of emotions at one time...whereas most people can be mad at someone one minute and turn around and be completely ok and happy with everyone else the next. With me, it is all or nothing...I hate you ..I love you...if Im happy...Im happy..if Im upset...everyone else will know and should be upset with me...I HATE THIS. BPD is a thought process and emotions disorder and so it makes sense that my meds would help the depression but not the brian is so messed up. I heard this was a dibilitating disease..does that mean it is going to progress and get worse...I cannot die from this can I? I told him I am one step closer to becoming crazy and that scares me.

I need help and support. He wanted to do DBT therapy which I understand but he was wanting to change my sessions to be where we cannot talk about what is bothering me ...we are just to focus on the skills and lessons of DBT...I cannot do this because I need to have someone I can talk to..and to me that is what a therapist is. He told me we wouldnt change it. I just feel like if we were..I would come in angry and upset ...and I would feel like he abandoned me because it would be like he didnt even care about me..and I cannot take that right now..I have too much going on in my life and I need a therapist that will show empathy and understanding. I told him it would be too hard for me to come in each week KNOWING that he has the ability to show empathy and support and yet ...he wouldnt with hopefully this will not change.

I am so scared right now...if anyone who has this disorder could help me out and give me some advice and opinions...even if you dont have it...I need some help...I feel so lost and alone and unworthy.

Please help me. thanks.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Amandafran thread:697716