Posted by littleone on October 2, 2006, at 21:45:26
In reply to Re: Do you believe this? » muffled, posted by alexandra_k on October 1, 2006, at 23:53:27
Hi alex,
I think muffled had some very smart words for you. I found with my T that when we talk about head stuff (adult stuff) I feel pretty much no connection to him. Saying the words just puts up a wall between us. But if I can start talking about the feeling stuff or about about thoughts/feelings from my younger parts (I guess a lot of these would be deeper fear kind of stuff), then that's when I start to feel connected to him.
I know you've said before that you don't feel connected to your T. Do you think you're hiding behind the adult head stuff? Because if you are, then you need to remember that doing that will get you nowhere. That doing therapy is all about doing that which we find frightening. Facing your fears. And if you find it scary and threatening to show your inner self to someone, then that's exactly what you need to do. Show your T that side of you.
> I'm a bit scared of showing her my emotions. Because sometimes... They are very strong. And people find that aversive. Hell... *I* find that aversive.
If a T can't handle strong emotions, then they shouldn't be a T. It's not your role to protect your T. If you *are* doing that, then it might help to try to think of how you protected significant people in your past.
Alex, this is exactly what therapy is for. It is a safe place where you can show strong emotions.
A good starting point could be to talk to your T about why you're afraid of showing strong emotions. Let her tell you exactly what is okay or not okay. Let her help you face your fears.
> I remember one of my t's... I was reading my file and she had wrote (on the basis of a single meeting) INTENSE and she underlined it about 4 times so strongly she almost ripped a whole in the page.
For the record, I think being "intense" could easily be a strength. I think of people who have passionate ideas/concepts as intense. And I don't mean that as a put down. I think they need to be intense to drive the ideas forward. I think their energy comes out as mental intensity rather than physical exertion. Both types of release are good in my books.
> Sometimes... I find it hard to talk. I wouldn't say anything at all... T's don't like that :-( So I've learned to talk. But I talk about... Stuff that doesn't matter.
See, once again this is done to protect the T. That's not your job. If you want to go to therapy and sit in silence for an hour, then you can. It's your hour.
I think the idea of writing stuff for your T and then reading it out during your session is a really good idea. It could be a really good opportunity to talk about some of your inner stuff that you wouldn't normally talk about.
poster:littleone
thread:689710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691341.html