Posted by ElaineM on August 5, 2006, at 16:54:09
In reply to my psychiatrist appt, posted by kerria on August 5, 2006, at 15:41:43
Oh Kerria. I'm so sad reading your post. And I'm angry at that pdoc. I think sometimes T/pdocs get very jaded. And I hate that. It's so hurtful to the people who's lives are effected by them. I think that sometimes they forget that THEY get to go home at 5pm - drop the T cloak at their office door -- and WE go home to live the exact same lives we go to them for help with. It's so unfair! They think treating MI is hard ... well they should try living with it.
I wish I knew more about DID, so I could say something helpful, but I don't. You were so brave, and so proactive, to reveal to your pdoc what has happened. PLEASE don't let his reaction stop you from trying. You are absolutely not to blame for his ignorance, or incompetance.
Saying, that you somehow always manage to go on, it terribly insensitive. I believe you ARE that strong, but for him to say that sounds minimizing. I also think that T/pdocs are sometimes too quick to interpret actions as manipulation. I just wonder if that's what's going on with yours. I don't know! I can't believe how poorly you were treated. You deserve someone better than both of them.
PLEASE keep trying to find someone who'll help you integrate all your parts.
Have you ever told anyone on Babble the city you're posting from, so we can help network the resources in your area? I know that it'd be hard (I went through that same dilemma too) but if it's a last resort, then maybe it'd be worth it. I don't know. I don't think you deserve to be without a T right now -- though maybe it's better than being with an incompetant one. Do you think the one you've left now could offer a referral? Maybe even over email?
I know how hard it is to be dealing with physical and mental pain. I know what that feels like -- Words do not do it justice. Maybe that's why I'm so worried about you, and want to send you safe hugs (if you're okay with that). Could your medical doctor maybe call the hospitals' psych floors to ask if they know of T's who specialize in DID? Definately not to make you inpatient or anything like that -- just to open more doors. Are you scheduled for surgury anytime soon?
I know it's not nearly enough but, I'M on your side, WE'RE on your side here. I've worried too that my posts and my story could be a sort-of babble joke, (and I may be to some -- you can never know anything for sure) but I just have this gut feeling that people here are genuine. I've come to trust people here -- maybe I'm naive or stupid, I don't know. I just think that no one here takes anyone's pain as a joke. Keep posting, and trying. You're kids are lucky to have someone so brave caring about them.
kind thoughts, and safe hugs, Elaine
poster:ElaineM
thread:674038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/674047.html