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Re: my psychiatrist appt ElaineM

Posted by kerria on August 5, 2006, at 23:44:30

In reply to Re: my psychiatrist appt kerria, posted by ElaineM on August 5, 2006, at 16:54:09

(((((((ElaineM)))))))safe hugs. Thank you for writing. i thought about some things that you said. i think you're right. It's so hard having parts i didn't present the problem- what is really bothering me. Other parts talked about something else- he never got the reason why we were upset. The reason for the crisis is too upsetting to talk about. Parts took over and misrepresented me:(

Now he has this bad opinion aaaboiut me and will make me look bad. My parts often will make me look bad, stupid, etc, it's so frustrating.

i NEEDED my Dr to understad me and we blew it. i wish that somehow this dr would understand that there's so much that isn't communicated in appts. He sees only a cover of what's going on. It's so frustrating for me. i feel trapped - my parts that are desperately hurting are trapped inside 'protected' by other parts - but it makes me look manipulative and bad. i hate myself and not having control- being like this.

No one could help me this way- how could anyone understand?
everything is too hard for me.

Why would my dr think i was manipulating? Whay whould i be trying to get? Couldn't he tell a part was covering what we were upset about?

i need help to function- i need help with parts that are upset and in crisis underneath the surface parts. They brought up trivial stupid things. i hate how it's impossible to be undersstood:(

That's what DID is like. No one can see who you really are because you're a bunch of persons. Some can be in crisis and no one would ever know:(
No one cares to help. Therapy is painful and the hurting is so severe and no one cares. It's impossible to be successful at anything:(
People constantly accuse of things that aren't true or things that are but we can't help doing them:(
Inside we're so broken. i want to somehow be fixed- to have someone take the time to care and help - to sort out through all the parts and help me because i can't handle the pain of living with myself. Please God, help me. i'm a terrible mess.

why couldn't my dr help me?
now i had to quit therapy- it's too hard to do- it's not safe :(
dr doesn't care.




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