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Re: hm... Ľ Shortelise

Posted by Tamar on September 26, 2005, at 14:41:22

In reply to hm... Ľ Shortelise, posted by Shortelise on September 26, 2005, at 13:49:20

Itís good to hear what you make of the dream.

> He is ugly and misshapen, only just able to function physically. What does that mean?? Is that how I feel about myself- a little in-dream projection of myself onto him? I am not in fact obese, but I am plump, I have been having trouble with my feet, nothing much, just aches and pains. Do I feel myself to be ugly and deformed by the weight I carry? Yes, I guess I do, I don't see myself as a sexual being because of it. I can't use my sexuality to navigate my relationship with him as I used always to do with men - do I want to?

That does make sense: that his appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself. Do you feel itís just your therapist you canít use your sexuality with, or do you feel that way with all men at the moment?

> I can't remember the end of the session, and I feel very anxious about it, need to resolve something, need to remember. He is already with another patient. This to me is reality - he is only available to me when I am in the room with him, and for an occasional phone call, but otherwise he is ... his own, not mine. When I leave his room, unless I scream, metaphorically, I don't get his attention.

That also makes a lot of sense. Itís interesting, I think, that you donít remember leaving at the end of the session but that youíre certain things are unresolved. In dreams, of course, the scene changes swiftly from one thing to another. Itís not usually distressing in the dream. But in your dream it is distressing because the scene change leaves things unresolved. The sense of not being finished, and of being unable to remember the end of the session, seems to be pretty central to the dream.

> The jewelry on the bed - is that my sexuality - something he dismisses, something we haven't much discussed? My youthful beauty and sexual attraction were a great "treasure" and a big source of power to me. Do I call attention to it, only to have it rejected?
> I often dream of finding jewellry.

I think your own interpretation is usually the right one. If jewellery is something that you feel symbolises your sexuality and beauty then youíre probably right. I think it can sometimes symbolise love, so it makes sense that you think of your sexuality and other things that can make you loveable.

If you havenít discussed it much, is that because you havenít wanted to? Have you felt inhibited (like nearly everyone on the planet) about talking about sexuality in therapy? Or is it that you feel your therapist dismisses your sexuality by not engaging with you on a sexual level? I think therapy is quite difficult for people who are used to engaging on a sexual level a lot of the time; if therapists donít respond as men who are feeling attracted I think it makes the client feel terribly unattractive. I think there should be room for some very mild flirting, even if it can't go any farther!

Are you going to talk to your therapist about this dream?




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