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hm... Shortelise

Posted by Shortelise on September 26, 2005, at 13:49:20

In reply to dream about T, posted by Shortelise on September 25, 2005, at 11:58:55

Thanks for the responses, ANgela, Fairwings, and Tamar.

He is ugly and misshapen, only just able to function physically. What does that mean?? Is that how I feel about myself- a little in-dream projection of myself onto him? I am not in fact obese, but I am plump, I have been having trouble with my feet, nothing much, just aches and pains. Do I feel myself to be ugly and deformed by the weight I carry? Yes, I guess I do, I don't see myself as a sexual being because of it. I can't use my sexuality to navigate my relationship with him as I used always to do with men - do I want to?

I can't remember the end of the session, and I feel very anxious about it, need to resolve something, need to remember. He is already with another patient. This to me is reality - he is only available to me when I am in the room with him, and for an occasional phone call, but otherwise he is ... his own, not mine. When I leave his room, unless I scream, metaphorically, I don't get his attention.

The jewelry on the bed - is that my sexuality - something he dismisses, something we haven't much discussed? My youthful beauty and sexual attraction were a great "treasure" and a big source of power to me. Do I call attention to it, only to have it rejected?

I often dream of finding jewellry.




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