Posted by daisym on June 23, 2005, at 0:19:33
In reply to Re: Confusing Session (triggery) » daisym, posted by messadivoce on June 22, 2005, at 17:40:59
You make lots of sense!
>>>>Do you think you envy the tenderness he must give to her during intimacy, without wanting the actual sex? I know I envy my T's wife that way. I guess the danger comes when we are willing to have sex to get that intimacy, and when our T's or other men take advantage of that.
<<<<<A while back I had a dream that my therapist was teaching me how to enjoy sex. It was clear that what he was teaching me was how to be close to someone. When we talked about this dream, we agreed that I wanted intimacy and closeness in my life. This was about that time that I started to really acknowledge what was missing from my relationships. I was so busy taking care of everyone else that I never let them care for or see me. I've written about it here. Therapy can make you so lonely because you learn what it feels like to be understood and what it might mean to merge emotionally with someone and not get hurt. I think that is why I say I'm jealous of "them" not "her." It is the relationship I imagine they have that I want in my life, not necessarily him. But, I do have to say we used to have a poster who was married to a therapist and she had plenty of complaints about him. I suspect they might save the bulk of their patience for their clients.
You've hit on my absolute biggest fear. I'm afraid of myself. I wonder, what lengths would I go to to avoid being left? OR to feel special? I wonder over and over again if I think sex can be used as currency in some way. Intellectually I tell myself "no." But my body has betrayed me before, so...so.
Thank you for making me think about this more.
poster:daisym
thread:516928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517409.html