Posted by All Done on June 26, 2005, at 2:22:46
In reply to Re: Confusing Session (maybe triggers?) » All Done, posted by daisym on June 23, 2005, at 0:05:55
> Thank you for sharing so much. I've said it before but parenting is so complicated. My therapist tells me that it is important to let myself acknowledge the love I did get from my dad, especially when I was really young. Girls do need their daddies, but they need their daddies to have strong boundaries, kind of like good therapists!
>
> What strikes me is your wanting to be wanted. I worked hard to be invisible but there is this longing now to be seen -- really seen---and wanted anyway. I think that might be one of the primary reasons therapy is so important to me. I'm letting someone see me, the real me, and so far he hasn't sent me away or asked me to hide anything.I spent the better part of my childhood trying to be invisible. I would literally hide behind books at school and I never talked to anyone unless it was related to my schoolwork. When I got to therapy, I think I brought a lot of that with me and I hid behind lots of issues that, while they were important in their own way, weren't directly about me. Once I got the courage to start opening up, I found that my T is accepting and non-judgemental. I have to say it's a liberating experience. I'm not exactly sure, though, how I'm going to learn that while someone can accept me as I am, they may also want me as I am. I suppose that's his job.
> I asked Tamar, but I'll ask you too...how are you able to distinguish your feelings as "purely" sexual and not love?
Well, first off, logic rules with me sometimes. I guess I think something along the lines of, "I may have some sexual feelings toward him, but it would be impossible for those feelings to signify love. He's my therapist and I don't know anything about the non-therapist him."
But also, and maybe more importantly, I don't think I equate any part of sex with love. I don't know why and I probably have to think about this some more. Maybe the thoughts feel okay to me because I understand how intimacy and sex are related and I believe intimacy in therapy is okay and important. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense.
> And what did your therapist say when you whined at him about being a cliche? I bet he said you are uniquely you...and for that I'm grateful.
For the life of me I don't remember what he said, but you are very, very sweet in your speculations. Thank you :).
poster:All Done
thread:516928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/519081.html