Posted by Kind Girl on April 27, 2004, at 9:28:09
In reply to Re: To call or Not to Call: Always a question! » DaisyM, posted by fallsfall on April 27, 2004, at 7:47:25
Daisy,
Sorry I am jumping in late here, but I loved what I read so far from you because you SOUND LIKE ME!!!!!! Oh my gosh. My hands shake when I call her number, I hang up before the last digit...then pick up the phone again....it is such a battle.Your T. sounds so much like mine except he is male, and it felt good to read that he says the same thing mine does.
Not sure if this is true for you (and him) but my t tells me all the time how as a little child, an infant even, I learned not to depend on anyone for anything because nobody was there for me when there should have been a loving parent there for me. She said I have needs and wants and desires from that little place in me that need to come out, to be seen, to be heard, to be held and healed. I have asked her many many times for a book or a Bible study or ANYTHING that will show me how to do this. She just smiles and says, "there is no "one size fits all" therapy"....and my "work" is depending on her...learning to trust her, to call her, to ask her for help, to cry out to her....all that stuff that I decided I would never do ever again since the time I was in diapers. It is excruciating for me to call her.
It is very painful to open up and trust that someone gives a darn about you when nobody in your life has ever before, and that is my work with her, according to her. Perhaps your t. would say the same thing....that your work is learning to call him, learning to ask, learning to trust him when he tells you to call him. I always preface my phone messages with, "Sorry to bother you but....." and every time she answers with, "Thank you for calling....you are never a bother..."
I wish it was easier but it isn't, but thanks for what you wrote because it helped me not feel like such a freak.
poster:Kind Girl
thread:340454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/340525.html