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Re: (Long) He's not suppose to ask leading questions Karen_kay

Posted by fallsfall on January 5, 2004, at 22:23:16

In reply to Re: (Long) He's not suppose to ask leading questions fallsfall, posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 16:34:00

Well, I think you do have to fight. Just my uneducated opinion, you understand.

After I read your post, all I could think of was you sitting with a large card upside down on your lap (a la Newlywed Game). At the appropriate time you hold up your card. It says "STOP".

Maybe, though, you can do this in stages. Talking about how it affects you and how you think he should stop because he knows that you want him to might be a first step. Or starting out a session saying that you don't want to talk about you father, you want to talk about [insert some other reasonably significant topic here]. Maybe the first step would be *preventing* the situation. That would require you to take control and direct what is happening, but maybe you wouldn't be so tied up that you couldn't speak. [I do understand not being able to speak - I used to sit there opening and closing my mouth trying to make the words come out. I knew exactly what words I needed to say, but I couldn't make my mouth form those words. It is an awful feeling.]

"But, I don't want to appear weak. Or look like I have feelings. Or that I'm scared. UGH!!!"

Geeze, Karen, your therapist's office is where you NEED to do these things. I wish I had your strength - I walk in his office with "weak and dependent" written all over me. Wanna trade a bit? I'll give you some weak and dependent and you can give me some strength?

I do see you making significant progress over time. You are working on incredibly hard stuff. Sometimes it is a major accomplishment just to walk through the door into a session, because you know how hard that session will be.

I asked my therapist today if I call him on the phone too much. He looked shocked and said "The short answer is NO". We talked about it a little, and he asked if I thought that he was annoyed by my calls. I said that I didn't really think that, but I just had to check. He thought that was OK. It really is getting easier. But fighting through the transference was probably the hardest work I have done in therapy.

Go, Karen! Go, Karen! Go, Karen, Go!
[That's me, cheering you on]




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