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Maybe you need a signal » Karen_kay

Posted by DaisyM on January 5, 2004, at 0:54:29

In reply to Re: (Long) He's not suppose to ask leading questions » fallsfall, posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 20:26:16

Karen,

I can "hear" your pain and frustration! Maybe you can tell him that you can't "say" stop but you could raise your finger, or something.

I don't know why he is repeating your stories back to you -- mine doesn't do that. He will ask (very carefully) if it was hard to see such and such or if this or that triggered something...or if I'm talking about an issue, he might say I think you probably reacted to that because of this...

Ultimately, you must believe that you ARE in charge and begin to take control. Ask questions: where are we going with this? How might I move on? Could we work on positive future goals for awhile? The past will wait until you are ready to deal with it.

You DO have feelings, I can hear them in your posts. You are not heartless or less anything. What you are dealing with is really, really, painful which is why your subconscience is protecting you from it. Don't beat yourself up for "giving in" to your boyfriend or anyone else. Sometimes there just isn't the energy. But realize that your choice (you are making one)is not saying no (verses saying yes). YOU still have power. It will grow. It just takes time.

Now that the Holidays are over hopefully things will settle down for you.
I'm thinking about you.
-D

 

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poster:DaisyM thread:294726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/296567.html