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Re: Maybe you need a signal DaisyM

Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 16:11:47

In reply to Maybe you need a signal Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on January 5, 2004, at 0:54:29

I can think of a finger I'd like to raise when he gets like that :) But, I can't move. I can't speak. In my mind I'm screaming "STOP IT!" but the words don't make it to my lips. And I feel like if I say something I'm avoiding the issue or I'm not being strong enough. I was the one who told him he had to push me. I mean, he's the therapist. He's the one who knows what he's doing. I sure don't. He should be able to tell from my reaction that it is too much for me to take.

Maybe I could start out the session on Tuesday with this. That would make it easier. But it always starts the same way. Typical beginning:
Him: "How was your week?"
Me: Complaints, ect. "And yours?"
Him: Complaints, ect. "Have you thought about your father?"

From there it begins... No buffer really, nothing. It just starts. If I try to deny that I haven't thought about it then he begins talking about the things I have told him or talking about dreams I have told him. And he goes into vivid details. I basically just sit there in a daze most of the session anyway. Hmmm, and I wonder why my anxiety is going through the roof? Well, I did just call my Pdoc to get some anxiety meds. I haven't taken them in well over 3 months but I need something to help unclench my jaw :( It's progress! At least I'm admitting there's a problem....




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