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Re: Thinking about suicide - To SLS Meltingpot

Posted by SLS on August 23, 2009, at 6:24:53

In reply to Re: Thinking about suicide - To SLS, posted by Meltingpot on August 23, 2009, at 5:31:52

> Hi Scott,
> When I was in my 20s, the first antidepressant I was prescribed was prothiaden (I think it is also known as doxepin) and it worked wonderfully, I couldn't have asked for a better response. You know everything looked and seemed brighter, I felt more relaxed than I had ever felt and was much more motivated.
> Then the prothiaden seemed to start pooping out after about 5 years. I was put on seroxat and that worked wonderfully as well.
> I think I would have responded to any antidepressant I was given in my 20s but for some reason after hitting 35 I seem to have become resistant to everything.
> I did try prothiaden (doxepin) again at the age of 35, at much higher doses and it just caused me a lot of anxiety.
> Clomipramine is the second tricyclic I've tried (I'm now 43) and although it seems to be helping a bit, it's not helping nearly enough.
> It's strange really when I came off antidepressants at 31 I felt ok for three years. This time round though if I stop antidepressants (even though they don't work that well anyway anymore) I feel absolutely horrible. I feel like I'm in some kind of hell.
> I was thinking perhaps if I came off antidepressants for a year, just taking Zyprexa, that somehow my brain will revert back to normal and that the antidepressants will work again.

Do you feel that you can handle such a protracted period of abstinence and remain functional?

I understand perfectly your logic here. It is as good as any other. Unfortunately, with my brain, it seems that it "remembers" the drugs it has been exposed to in the past and is prepared to be resistant to them. My guess is that it has to do with genes being turned on indefinitely that produce proteins that affect neuronal membranes. There are either genes or gene combinations that are specific to a given drug, or that the area of the brain that each drug affects is somewhat different. That would explain why someone might build up a resistence to one SSRI and not another. In other words, I don't think going back to paroxetine after an extended drug holiday would somehow renew your responsivity to it. If anything, it might allow for a brief response at the beginning of treatment that fades quickly. Remember, though, this is only a guess of mine. Perhaps someone else can attest to experiencing otherwise.

That you have been responsive to two drugs as monotherapy is a good sign, I believe, that you will respond to combination treatment.

> I really don't know what else to do.

I'm sure we'll think of something.

Is there any history of mental illness in your family?

You can Babblemail me if you'd like.

I'm sure you've already done this, but could you make 3 lists?

- drugs and drug combinations that helped, no matter how much or for how long, even if side effects made them intolerable..

- drugs or drug combinations that made you feel worse.

- drugs that did nothing, but that were still tolerable.

- Scott




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