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Re: Thinking about suicide

Posted by ceres on August 21, 2009, at 1:56:43

In reply to Re: Thinking about suicide ceres, posted by Maxime on August 17, 2009, at 10:01:47

Oh, sleep deprivation distorts things.
I used to use it as an antidepressant (stopped working), --so destabilizing. It's worth pressing the issue w/ MD. As important as it is, I don't know why many physicians under treat it. *Sleep meds didn't work for me either until I re-added lithium, which also reduced the urgency I felt about suicide for a while.
Have you experimented w/ light therapy (blue light)for sleep regulation & mood?

I can relate to your changing your mind at the cinema. In my case, I don't want to be stuck in an act-normal zone with crushing depression.
Going to a theater is work. I was thinking of DVD's as an absorbing distraction, or Net Flicks, if you have that. Some libraries have good selections & if you get a handful of DVD's, maybe a few will be watchable.
Do you like photography or other art books (pic's, no text)? Rereading childhood books might be a non-demanding whimsical relief, a vacation for part of the mind. Maybe something like this is a possible counterbalance to your graduate studies.

I admire that you can use higher cognitive skills for your studies during this wretched period.
I know there are different flavors of depression & while some people can keep face & manage the basics of their jobs, I have not been able to this time.
Maybe it depends on which parts of the brain are involved? Maybe your depression is similar to that of writers & artists who manage to create while in the depths of despair. Their skills are intact & they are motivated to continue their work, while desperately wanting relief from a hellish mindscape.

I wish for you some good quality sleep & of course, some substantial relief from that invasive anguish, that plagues so many of us.



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