Posted by katia on August 29, 2003, at 16:15:31
In reply to Re: Hysteria in Tsunami!, posted by fluffy on August 29, 2003, at 14:56:44
As far as friends go; yes I get that. And the weeds are trimmed away quickly. One friend in particular - I feel she is a good friend, but (is it my hypersensitivity or is it real???) she sometimes feels to me like she doesn't really believe that I'm suffering from an illness = bipolar/depression. I asked her about once and she said "the important thing is that YOU believe it". Sounds not too supportive eh? I responded by saying "no, it's important for other's to take this seriously and validate it as such for some understanding and compassion". She's had quite a good and charmed life and is so stable that she just can't understand it. And i think unless the "cheese slides off people's crackers" they WON'T get it. There is that whole misconception of "you can snap out of it - we all go thru' depressed periods" "work it out in therapy" i have tried the latter and it doesn't work without meds. So part of my not reaching out is I don't want more salt to the wound by people not understanding and actually making light of what I'm going thru'. I don't need insult to injury.
It's a tough one. My motto in life is "no one understands me or sees me for who I am!". (are you familiar with the Enneagram? I "do" a four very strongly.
anyway fluffers, thanks for being there!
how's your first day on Lithium?
> When I felt like you are feeling now (newly diagnosed and not over a major depression) I often wished that the "friends" who were like--"ick--she doesn't seem well--she's depressed--like, she's crazy--she cracked up--can you believe it?", I wished they knew what it was like to be me and to deal with what was on my plate. (the mean side of me wanted "the cheese to slide off of their cracker" and see how they felt!!--maybe give them an empathetic bone). Basically, through my ordeal I was able to tell who the real friends were, and who the true humanitarians were (or at least, the friends to lean on and the friends to just say "hi" to).
> Sometimes I would just have to get away from everyone and just cry and cry until I couldn't cry anymore. The only other thing I could manage to do most of the time was chain-smoke and knit. But in between, there was a wonderful friend who was even able to stomach my admission that I was feeling suicidal. She didn't blink--just told me that if I felt that way again to make sure and call her, or call my pdoc right away.
> So if you have a friend that you think can take it, then give him/her a whirl if you really need to lean on someone. (and try not to feel guilty--it's hard!!)
> As to your medication, I hope your doctor can help you to find what will work best for you. Please keep our little support group updated.
> The psychobabblers are here for you always!
> take care